It's a shower and He's invited!

Waikerie Farm, Maine

The times and more have changed a great deal since the days when my grandma and her friends were getting married (hitched) and having (birthin’) babies. Grandma was born in 1899. When she was married at the age of 17 in a very tiny farming community in southern Illinois, people of her socio-economic status didn’t have big weddings. They just went down to City Hall, the bride wearing a clean dress from her closet and her young man may have actually been wearing his overalls. Because likely as not, he still had to milk the cows when they returned to his parents’ home that evening. Young people didn’t go in too much for living together before making everything legal in those days. In my grandparents’ case they actually lived with Grandpa’s parents on their farm for a little over a year. Grandma once told me that was a BIG mistake.


But the bride’s girlfriends still wanted to “shower” her with good wishes and gifts. The gifts were modest and there certainly wasn’t any registry from which to select the towels or cooking pans chosen by the blushing bride. Usually, there would be a gathering in the basement of the country church after services on Sunday. Punch and cookies would be the customary refreshment offered, and the gifts for the new bride would range from embroidered pillowcases to a single painted plate. And that explains why all of Grandma’s dishes were different in design.

When the babies began to arrive, the same group would gather once again in the church basement, partake of cookies and punch for an encore and ooh and ahh over sweet little knitted booties and bonnets. As time went on there were likely to be a number of toddlers running around and laughing while the women chatted. The men were back at the house either taking care of farming chores or sitting in the rocking chair enjoying an hour or two of not having to tend to any physical labor.

Now let’s move into this century. Not so many farm families any longer and men are becoming more and more present at these celebrations. Instead of the church basement, restaurants, condo clubhouses, and private homes are the more likely setting. The punch and cookies have been replaced with three-course luncheons and wine and cocktails. The wine and cocktails are for everyone except the mama-to-be. And the gifts, my-oh-my! Instead of the single plate, the couple (probably not as young as my grandparents when they tied the knot) may receive a beautiful and complete set of china that they had registered for long before the date of the wedding ceremony. This rather new ritual of registering for gifts can occupy a couple’s time for many Saturdays. Instead of receiving one saucepan, they’ll probably receive an entire set of matching cookware. And I’d love to see the expression on their faces if they were to open a tissue paper wrapped pillowcase.

The site of the baby shower celebration is likely to be littered with fancy strollers, whose price tag may have been equal to a year’s wages for my Grandpa when he was first married. The baby clothes (which the baby will likely wear once or twice before outgrowing) will be beautiful and costly.

BUT…..the grooms-to-be and the daddies are taking part of this old time custom and isn’t it nice that they be included? And I think it’s wonderful that those who can afford to shower their loved ones with expensive gifts do so. I’m sure the young couples are very grateful. I just have to pass along the thought that I get a bit of a heartwarming, tingly feeling every time I wash that single, hand painted plate that was my Grandma’s. Every time I wash it I remember all those long-ago times when she washed the dishes and I dried them and we talked and learned about each other’s dreams and values. The dish will probably break before I can pass it along to my daughter and when it does I know that I’ll shed many tears but I can’t sacrifice the pleasure that it gives me to use it now.